The UK's 10 Worst Nightclubs

I think it is almost a rite of passage to have some terrible club nights at university, and I am sure we have all been to a club that has just been GROSS - from sticky carpets, to awful music, there are some nights out we wish we could forget. They say it is all about the people you go with, but let's be honest, no amount of friendship and fun could distract you from overpriced drinks and questionable hygiene. However, take this all with a pinch of salt. All nightclubs have their own vibes, their own crowd and their own unique quirks. Let's take a not-so-glamorous trip through the UK and talk about which nightclubs you should probably avoid and why they gained a spot on our list of our Top 10 WORST UK Nightclubs… 10. Club International, Falmouth Many say that this club hasn’t changed since the 1980s, which may provide nostalgia for some, but I’m not sure that is a good thing? A Falmouth icon, there are no other options so cross your fingers it's not a foam party night and go crazy! 9. Jesters, Southampton Jesters, like most clubs on this list, provides a night of pop, chart and cheese that seemingly sends everyone into a trance and makes them forget where they are. One can’t speak of Jesters without mentioning the Jesticle. Odd name aside, a Jesticle is Jester’s signature cocktail drink served with unknown ingredients which I'm sure will make you feel really great the next morning! 8. Central Square, Newport No not Newport in Wales, there is believe it or not, another one! Tucked away somewhere between Wales and Birmingham, Newport is the nearest town to Harper Adams, the agricultural university. Not sure this could be considered a nightclub, as it is more of a glorified school disco but with nothing else around but a Waitrose and a Specsavers, the bar is low! 7. Lola Lo, Cambridge We all know Cambridge isn't renowned for their nightlife, with academics taking centre stage, but Lola Lo had to make the list. This vaguely tropical themed club at least attempts to disguise the smell of drunken sweat with a scent that is remnant of Hollister. Grab your Hawaiian shirt and go crazy. 6. Space, Leeds With some of the top reviews on TripAdvisor being titled ‘Grim Mate’ and ‘Do Not Go’, do I even need to go on? 5. Why Not, Edinburgh Claiming to be ‘up-market’, hundreds of reviews online say otherwise. Massive queues, rude door and bar staff and the same cheesy music heard anywhere. Maybe save yourself and try somewhere else. 4. Infernos, Clapham Infernos blends the cheesiness of hometown clubs with the price and dress code of the ‘grown up’ clubs that London offers. Have fun paying criminal amounts at the bar and mingling with anyone from 18 year old students to 35 year old businessmen. 3. Snobs, Birmingham One of the oldest nightclubs in the city, so it gets bonus points for nostalgia but that is about it. Can always count on it to be busy, especially on the weekend, but can’t say that promises a good night out so beware. 2. Popworld, York Popworld is notorious wherever you go, and not necessarily for the right reasons, but Popworld York gets a special shoutout. Fitted with an incredible revolving dance floor, with any luck you will get so dizzy you won’t be able to see where you are! 1. Klute, Durham The lucky winner of the not-so-coveted top spot, is Klute in Durham! Round of applause for Klute, because they are not only the worst in the UK but have been named the worst in the whole of Europe! An incredible feat, and one I will not be celebrating with them… So, that is our list – the top 10 worst nightclubs in the UK. Whether you're looking for a laugh or a cautionary tale, these clubs have definitely made an impression on the nightlife scene. Just remember, sometimes the best memories are made by knowing which clubs to avoid like the plague and some are made in those same clubs themselves. Stay safe and keep dancing – but preferably somewhere that doesn't smell like an old P.E changing room!

Student blog

Jordan Darlington

Further reading

Nottingham City Guide

Derby City Guide

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